Oh yes, Wednesday. So lets start with Thursday.
Thursday was a long day. A full day of work, plus some tough decisions I made with the students that I didnt feel great about afterwards. But as my Dad says - mistakes are how we learn. So I tried to feel better about my decisions.
Later that night, i started to make plans with my friend Seth. It was his 21st birthday, and he wanted me to take him out, which I was more than happy to do. Heres the blog post I WOULD have written (if I had had the time to write) before i went out that night:
(Edited for content)
So as you can see, I provide quite the treat for the person whos birthday it is.
So to start Seth's evening, I wanted to bring him something special. I decided that my Oregon famous Adam Bomb would be just the ticket, so I went to the liquor store, bought all my ingredients, and came home. My wallet was already hurting though, because all the ingredients cost me $80. Ouch.
Mixed the drink to perfection, and had my Mom try some. She just about fell over, asking me if it was possible to be buzzed from one sip. She said it was the best drink she had ever had, so i smiled and packaged three more in their special containers.
Picked up Seth, gave him his bday gift, then took him out on the town. We went EVERYWHERE, it was a long night, and even though we hit a few minor and major bumps in the road, he said he still had a good time. Total price of the evening, including the ingredients I bought earlier - $120. Wow. Am I a Good friend? Check.
I was exhausted when I finally got home around 3:30am, so I crashed.
Friday
Rolled out of bed, headed to work. Got home, had dinner with the grandparents who were in town this weekend. And this is the infamous grandmother who taught me from a very young age that it was always better to look good than to feel good. And she meant it. So thus, a full shopping weekend was planned.
Friday night, as about to pass out when my friend from work called me and asked me to come out. It was only 11:30, so out I went. She introduced me to this new dance club in Boulder, and so we danced the night away. But again, no sleep for me.
Saturday....... nothing much happened.
Fast forward to Sunday, and we hit the mall. I knew for some time now that I wanted to start looking older than a club-going teenager (even tough thats totally what I am) and start looking the part of a student affairs professional. And this meant facing the music and heading to Banana Republic.
So with the $200 my grandmother gave me as shopping money, I marched in and sheepishly started looking around. After 2 minutes, I realized that I no idea how to even begin looking in this store. I know club style stores like the back of my hand, but everything in this store was quickly blending together. So I found a nice looking woman who worked there and told her the following:
1. I have no clue what Im doing.
2. Im looking to completely redo my wardrobe.
3. I want to buy complete outfits.
4. And money is no object.
That last bit was a total lie, but I was not about to stop short of an awesome outfit just because of something like money. This was the Ross Logan redesign we were talking about! And I knew that since my Mom and Grandma were with me, I could always shake a few extra dollars out of their wallet to cover it.
60 minutes and 6 different complete outfits later, the three of us had settled on 3 fantastic new outfits. I had been obviously avoiding looking at any price tags up until this point, so now I was getting nervous. I knew I was over my $200 budget, but I didnt know by how much.
So I started counting all the price tags, and I wasnt surprised. Most everything I had picked out was about $80 a pop. Hell, the new belt was 50 bux. It was outrageous. But I didnt just spend an hour trying on half the store AND feeling belittled by the saleswoman (How the hell would I know what a French Cuff is???) to leave without everything I wanted (What can I say? I grew up spoiled and the rotten apple of being spoiled will always be lodged between my teeth).
So total price, including tax (fuck you, tax), was just under $600. Thats when I twittered, "Only in Banana Republic can $200 feel like $20."
So I went over to my Mom, and she pleasantly forgot that my parents had stopped giving me any sort of clothing allowance. Too bad she called my Dad to verify, and he un-politely reminded her. But they threw in a $100 consolation prize. Then my Grandma offered to buy me the cute messenger bag that went with all my outifts (MSRP $98) but I wanted to wait until I found something better looking. I never actually found a better looking bag, so I ended up losing out on that deal.
So total damage for just Banana Republic - $250. Which wouldnt have hurt so much if I hadnt JUST spent $120 on Seth. (Mind you, I was happy to do so..... just not so much.)
Anyways, I picked up a white argyle sweater from Express (it was on sale) and called it a day.
Came home, talked with Rachel on the phone for an hour (which I was very happy to do, since we have spent the last week playing phone tag twice a day), and then ate dinner.
Just got back from seeing the Social Network with my family, and they all loved it, but it turned into a very interesting conversation about why Facebook is so important. Of course, Im talking with my grandparents, who talk about how SAD it is that we dont hand write letters to each other anymore and mail them using the United States Postal Service. My step-grandpa tells me he misses the days when his mailbox was full of letters, not magazines. So trying to explain Facebook to them was a bit..... difficult. I didnt even mention Twitter.
But it IS rather interesting. And, of course, meant for another blog post which I dont have time for. And sadly, it will a blog post that wont ever come to fruition. But this jist is this: I felt a connection with Mark while watching the movie, and I felt like we were similar in a lot of ways. Granted, I dont have his intelligence, but I do have his desire to run the show, steal the spotlight, and run the entire social network.
Im alone in my head a lot, a lot a lot. And during all this time, the question DOES pop into my head on occasion and beg to be answered. What are the real reasons im in this profession anyways? Being an RA, an SRA, a Rez Hall Director?
Being at Justice High, a job that comes with no glory, Ive realized that at least some of my intentions are honest and good. But I still worry about the others....
A saying always comes back to me, and Im afraid of it.
"Those who desire power were not meant to have it." I really try not to think about it.
I try to focus on some of the positives. Like, for example, that Im pretty good at what I do. I dont take second best lightly, so I struggle and run as fast as I can to be the best, and in my profession, that means providing the best to others. And as I learned this year, part of being the best also means knowing that the one in charge is really the one with the LEAST amount of power, and is really only there to support and guide those with the power, aka, the RAs.
Tick tock tick tock. This sabbatical year has just started, but time is already quickly running out.
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