Lets start with the reason why I havent really been able to blog this week. Well, the two reasons.
The 1st is a mute point. Not a moot point, but a mute point, meaning I cant discuss any of it. I made a promise to myself and others that I would keep this blog clean and professional, and I will always try to live up to that expectation. Even though my grandfather, who reads my blog, would define professional as cleaning up my room first before posting a picture of it for the world to see, I tend to not mind as much when it comes to those kinds of issues. Especially when it comes to pictures of my room. Yes, America, my room is a mess, and my floor is my 3rd shelf, and an expansive one at that. I clean it when I need to, and more importantly, when I have real time to.
But lets get back to the 1st reason, or rather, a lack thereof. I weathered quite the firestorm this week, and as things stand now, I do not know whether or not I should trust the peace presented to me. Time will tell, and Im nervous. Confident and holding my ground, but nervous. But thats all I will say.
Number 2. I hate to admit it, but Im still sick with that tiny cough/choke. The yummy and wonderful gunk known as "flem" keeps building up in the back of my throat and causing me the most ANNOYING cough that produces nothing, despite regular doses of Mucinex. For four days now, I wake up feeling not 100%, with that cough and gunk, take some medicine, and im fine throughout the whole day. Then as night comes around, my body grows tired and all the symptoms rush back. It hasnt gotten worse, and it hasnt gotten better. In short, another precipice in my life. Im waiting for it to get better, and Im afraid to go out and have fun while I still have it. Let me tell you all the places I could have been tonight, but DIDNT go because of this tiny cough -
A) The Deadmau5 concert in Denver at Beta club this evening. SUPER pissed I missed this.
B) Tracks gay nightclub with coworkers. First time I was invited to go with them and had to turn them down.
C) Hanging out with my close friend Seth, who wanted me to go out clubbing with him. Ive really been missing hanging out with him, and I was sad I didnt have the strength to go.
D) Clubbing in Boulder with an old friend from high school who invited me out tonight.
Yea. Im upset about this whole SICK thing. Not sick enough to go to a doctor or miss work, but JUST sick enough to not feel like going out and putting anymore stress on my body.
And while we're on the subject of not being to hang out with people, lets talk about another precipice.
Number 3 - My relationships on a precipice. Now that I work a ton, I feel like I barely have time to throw my life together outside of work. Even the people I consider good friends, I barely see even once every two weeks! If Im not at work, Im driving home, or eating, or too tired, or studying for the GRE, or at a training. Its never ending, and people keep inviting me out, but its not right to say yes when I need to be getting rest and taking care of myself. But maybe the simple answer to this is to just say Fuck It and go out and get my hands dirty a little. I only get a year off from serious life once, I should take it more seriously.
Which leads us to Number 4 - Money. Ive been broke before, but this is a new level of broke. We'll just leave it at that. Ive never dipped into my emergency stash twice in a month, and 9 months out of the year I never even need to. Prolly should get this together sooner than later....... yea.....
Number 5 - The "Im an Ally" program. So for those of you who dont know, I was involved in bringing the Im an Ally campaign to the University of Oregon, and helped it flourish while I was there. I was talking with some OUT Boulder volunteers about this idea, and they want to bring it to the businesses of Boulder! So tomorrow is my first meeting the team of volunteers I put together as we figure out our business plan for getting this thing off the ground! Its a very exciting time for us, for Boulder, and for this nation. It seems like is a great time to be moving forward with Ally ideas like this!
Or at least.... it was......
Until Number 6 - The Obama appeals. Ive been hearing a trickle of news the last two days that Obama is APPEALING the Dont Ask Dont Tell injunction, and that he is also appealing some sort of Defense Against Marriage act case in one of the states. Talk about getting punched in the stomach by your friend and having all the air pulled out of you. I mean, wow. How is Obama supposed to still show face to the LGBTQ community and show he is still our ally? Legally, he had no obligation to appeal the injunction, but his administration did it anyways. Man, and just when I was finally feeling like our community was on the rise. We stood at a precipice, and Obama gave it that bad push in the wrong direction. It just sucks.
So going into the weekend, Im just feeling a little shaken right now. Not 100% in health, on any of these issues. Like Im holding the solution in the palm of my hand, and I just havent quite close my fingers around it yet.
Oh man. And, to top it all off, I found out Kimber committed suicide this week! I was stunned. She was one of my favorite characters on Nip/Tuck, and she just goes and offs herself a full 6 episodes before the finale! Man. It was just another blow to the gut for sure.
Thank god for South Park though, and "The Snooki." Totally brilliant. What an amazing episode. I managed to snag the video below from PerezHilton.com, so enjoy it while you can!
Ok, Im going to get a full nights rest. Im sure I had more to say, but Im ok with what I wrote.
I will say this though. Despite so many precipices in my life right now, I cant really say Im sad or upset. Sure, I want things to be different, but I still have faith that things will get better and the sun will rise tomorrow a little brighter than it did today.
But first things first. I gotta kick this freaking cough. Yuck.
But before I go.... a little bit of trash to most likely ruin your day - the new Ke$ha single. I wonder how soon she'll tank.
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