A Tougher Road

Maybe its the dark hour creeping over me, which is pretty standard for my life, but in this moment, I feel like life is going to be tough these next few months, and I can feel the energy to rise up over it slipping away.

Maybe its because Im broke for 7 more days.
Maybe its because I just finished Nip/Tuck, thus ending a common occurrence in my life.
Maybe its because Ive been sick with what the doctor thinks might be whooping cough (although I dont think it was based on what I found)

Who knows. And maybe its because of lingering questions that havent let me live in peace over the past week or so.

You have to just get up and be more positive.

So Ill try.

Positives.....

Positives are that my first tutoring sessions went really well today. Kid 1 is brilliant and keeps me on my toes, while Kid 2 is kinda nerdy like me and likes video games, which OF COURSE im more than happy to talk about while he/she works.

Ooh. And I got a new signature for my email, which was exciting, but really no reason to use it..... so..... theres that.....

im really bummed that tomorrow is the OS X 10.7 Lion reveal, and ill be in a staff training during that time. Oh well, Ill catch up when i get home.

Just an FYI - If it was the iPod announcement, i would have called in sick. Im serious, and you know it.

I called my friend Pat to tell him about the Apple event, and super forgot tomorrow is his wedding! 10/20/10. He and his soon to be wife have been planning that date for over 3 years now. Hell, they even registered the web address too I think. They just love the date. Man oh man, how times are changing....

Today I realized that while teaching is cool, I still miss being an RA and still miss student affairs and all the joy it brought me. It was always exciting, always challenging me to do better and be better, and to be honest, I think it really fits me for where I am right now. After working on my Im an Ally Boulder project this weekend, and managing a team and writing a proposal and hasing out the details, I realized how in love I am with being behind the clipboard and running the show that helps people and helps the community. Sure, part of it is the power and attention, I cant deny that. But is there harm in taking on the role when you help so many people and do it with good intentions?

Like I said, what draws you there doesnt really matter. Ultimately, its why you stay.

Sure, I cant say Ill do it til the day I die, but I can tell you that I still love it now, and Ill prolly love it for years to come.

Ill probably always wish I could do something with the tech field now and again, but Im sure Ill figure it out if its something I really, really want.

Ok, off to bed. quite exhausted. need rest.